My Purpose of Existence
by iammichan27
Summary: 8. My existence… Why do I exist? What's the purpose of my existence? I don't know. Does it worth to know? I don't know. NxM. One-Shot. Another side of my story 'Tissues'. Please read and review.


**My Purpose of Existence**

**by: **mi-chan27

* * *

**Summary: **My existence… Why do I exist? What's the purpose of my existence? I don't know. Does it worth to know? I don't know. NxM. One-Shot. Another side of my story 'Tissues'. Please read and review.

* * *

**Michan's note:**

Hey everyone. Please enjoy this newest story of mine. ;) Please leave a review ne. Oh, and **warning… **Please read my story "Tissues" first so that you can relate to this story. Thank you. Let's get on with the story. Enjoy~

* * *

**My Purpose of Existence**

The sun rose up beautifully. The children were noisily and happily playing in a park. Their mothers were bussily chit-chatting with others.

What a happy day it is.

And…

Then, a tree, not far from them, in the part of the park where Sakura trees were planted, in one tree, a guy was taking a nap on one of it's branches.

* * *

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_My existence…_

_Why do I exist?..._

_I don't know.._

_Is there a purpose of why do I exist?_

_I don't know…_

***o~o~o~o~o~o**_*****  
_

Saturday evening… Here I am, inside a park… behind a tree, watching a girl who is… crying her eyes out.

_What have I done?_

That's the sentence that keeps on ringing inside my head.

Sigh. _That's it. What can I do now? Definitely nothing. All I can do is sigh.. and nothing more._

_It's already been a year… huh?_

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

_My name is Hyuuga Natsume. I'm already perfect. I'm rich, genius and handsome. All the things that you'll search for a guy, I have that. Obnoxious much? No. I'm just telling the truth._

_That's what I thought… before I met her._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

**Three years ago…**

I am walking towards a park… one of the most rarest (yes, most and rareST) place where I feel I can be myself. One of my favorite places where I rather go than my own home.

But then *deathly aura* with these stupid girls drooling and staring at me with heart eyes, I can't even walk in PEACE. GAH!

Tsss. Girls… they're just plain stupid that I can get…with just one smirk..

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I played with BITCHES. I'm known as a player. And I don't care. Girls… they're all the same. So I'm letting them taste they're own medicine. I always left them crying, not that I loved, no, scratch that, liked any of them. I just played with them._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

"Ano… Uhmm…" I was startled, but… of course, I am THE Natsume Hyuuga… I showed no emotions. I just stared boringly at the girl in front of me and raised a brow.

"Hai," she gave me a pack of tissues. YES! TISSUES! What the hell? And then… AH! She ran? Wow. She's crazy.

Hmm. And what will I do with these tissues? I sighed an unaudbible sigh and keep on walking while I put the tissues in my pocket.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_Just like what my mother did to my father. I… learned from her. Maybe, that's the reason why I'm like this…_

_But was she the real reason? I wonder._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

I kept on walking…

And walking…

And walking…

And walking…

And… FINALLY! I'm in the park. Hn. Time to go to _**my**_ Sakura tree.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I had a sister and best friend. Other than Aoi (my sister) and Ruka (my best friend), I never loved anyone. Our mother left already when I was three years old, and our father never cared about us… He only cared about his company._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

WAIT A MINUTE.

_WHO THE HELL IS THAT STUPID PERSON WHO IS DEFINITELY, SURELY, EXTREMELY BRAVE TO STEP UNDER __**MY **__SAKURA TREE? HE/SHE WILL DEFINITELY REGRET IT._

… After few seconds though…

_She's cu—Ugly! I wonder what she's doing her… oh, she's crying… I wanna wipe those tears and tell her that everything will be alr—What the hell! What am I thinking? Shoo! Shoo!_

A love at first sight… Is this what they call love?

I shook my head. What am I thinking? No. they are all crap.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_Ruka is the only person that can understand me. Aoi is the little sister I need to protect. I never cared anyone other than them._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

"Why are you crying?" I asked the girl under _my_ Sakura tree. She looked up at me. And that's when… I found the most beautiful hazel-colored eyes.

And… SHE CRIED HARDER! WTH!

I panicked. "Oi!"

The girl laughed…bitterly. "Gomen," she said while wiping her tears, yet they continue to flow. She's an idiot, I already know it. Tch.

I sighed. "What are you apologizing for?"

"Nandemonai," she answered. WTH? She's definitely weird.

"Tch. Yeah, right. And the pigs can fly, idiot. Obviously, people cry with reasons. The two mainly reasons when people cries are whenever they're happy or when they're sad. Lastly and obviously, your tears can't and won't be considered as what they call _tears of joy,_" I said. WTH? What am I saying? I shouldn't care… but…

"Gomen," she apologized…AGAIN.

What can I say? Nothing. "Tch." That's all I can say… I think.

After few seconds though… "You know," she started. My ears perked up. Oh GOD! What's happening to me! I don't care about her. Just…curious. "I can't believed that my boyfriend didn't loved me. I can't believe that I loved him," she said and obviously can't take it anymore…she cried.

I'm going to give her a handkerchief, that's the least thing I can do for her. Ah! I… I'ts because I pity her! That's all… but then. I LEFT MY HANDKERCHIEF!

WTH. Hmm? What's this. I felt something inside my pocket. The tissues. Tch.

"Here," I said, handing the tissues to her…and she cried harder. "O-oi!" I called and she accepted the tissues.

Few seconds after and she calmed down. "Why tissue?" I heard her asked.

I swear, I felt a vein popped out of my head. "Be thankful, I'm still here. I'm not always like this," I mumbled but I think, she didn't caught what I just said. Suddenly, she chuckled. "Gomen, gomen. I am really grateful to you. Thank you. But what I mean is, why tissue? Usually, like in movies, a guy will give the girl a handkerchief NOT tissues, you know," she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I blushed slightly. WTH. I DON'T BLUSH. Just what is happening to me? "Well, I forgot to bring a handkerchief today but a girl gave me tissue earlier," I informed her. She smiled.

"Sou ka (I see)…"

"Why? Is there something with the tissue?" I asked her.

"Huh? Oh, no no no no. I just remembered something."

"By something you said, what is it?"

She sighed. "Something… gomen, I mean someone…"

"I knew it… you're heartbroken. Tch."

She nodded and told me her WHOLE story. I listened.. "_Not that I'm interested, I'm only listening to her because I'm bored…and I don't have anything to do" - _I said to myself.

She stood up and I looked at her, and that's when I noticed something: It's already sunset. We didn't noticed the time, heck we didn't even got hungry.

"I guess it's already time to go home," she said.

_Hmm. Yeah, it's already time to go home. Will we meet again? I wonder._

_HUH? What am I thinking? Shoo! Shoo! Bad thoughts._

_But…_

_What's this feeling? When I thought that we'll never meet again…I'm…_

…_scared?_

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

_And yet… The two of them left me when I was 7 years old._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

"Wait," I called and she turned to me_. What's happening to me?_ "Just meet me here, whenever you're sad." Her eyes widened and I…blushed?

She smiled to me. That smile… I want her to smile always. For me. ONLY ME.

"Arigato…hm…" Huh? And that's when it stuck to me. We didn't know each other's name. We laughed.

"Natsume," I said. "Name's Hyuuga Natsume."

"I'm Mikan. Yukihara Sakura Mikan. Nice to meet you, Natsume. Jaa. See you," she waved and ran.

Sigh. _There, she's gone. What happened to me? I feel weird. I even LAUGHED, as in laughed! And… I told her my name._

Argh! Frustrated, I just messed my already messed raven hair even more.

Hn. I stood up. _It's time to go home for me also._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

_Ruka… he left. He disappeared. I didn't know where he went. Tch. Some best friend I had._

_Aoi… she met an accident. She… she.. died._

_From then on… I'm alone. Everything became dull to me._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

* * *

The guy, who's taking a nap in the tree moved. He smiled in his sleep.

* * *

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I don't understand the point in life. I don't get it's meaning. I live without getting involve with others because it's easier to live like that._

_Even though, everyday… I always came to see her._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

After our meeting, everyday, we always meet in my, no, I mean _our _Sakura tree. We became best of friends. I always teased her about her underwear (*blush* I DO NOT PEAK! SHE SHOWED IT TO ME!). Seriously, a 16-year old girl wears POLKA-DOTTED UNDERWEAR? What the heck. Right? We're inseparable, we're always together.

And… As they say, friendships sometimes develops into something more. I loved her, more than what a best friend can do. I courted her (the first time I did for a girl, mind you), and after few months, at the date when we exactly meet, we became a couple. Everything seems perfect. We're together, I can't ask for more.

And yet, everything lasts. Nothing's forever.

Ten months after, I got bored. After all, she's always by my side… she won't leave me whatever happens, right?

So, I cheated. And I treated her different.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_It's a bother to be involve with anyone… … I don't need anyone.. No one understands me._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

* * *

**Two months after…**

Hmm. I wonder. I feel that I'm forgetting something. What is it?

"Natsume-kun…" A bitch called me. What's her name again?

Lina? No. Tuna? No. Rina? No. Something Lu… Lucy? No. Lu…Lu… Oh, Luna.

Tch. Bitches aren't even worth remembering their names. She kissed me. Eugh. Tch. I smirked.

Let's give her what she wants. **(michan27: EEEEEEW.)**

And… My door opened. I turned and saw someone…

…_Mikan._

Her eyes widened, the same as mine. _Mikan._

Her eyes showed shocked and pain. _Mikan._

She looked like she wants to cry. _Mikan. _

"Mikan…" I started. "Let me explain…" But I know that she will not let me.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_Why do I exist? What's the purpose of my existence? I don't know. Does it worth to know? I don't know._

_***o~o~o~o~o~o***  
_

She smiled at me… BITTERLY. What have I done?

"_Happy First Anniversary, Natsume._"

She put her gift on the floor and ran away. My eyes widened once more and realization hit me. _Anniversary._

"MIKAN!" I called her but she didn't stop. I tried to follow her but a hand grabbed my arm. I looked at the owner of my hand.

"Let. Me. Go," I demanded.

"But… Natsume-kun…" The Luna girl batted her eyelashes flirtariuosly. Eew. _Disgusting._

Huh? Disgusting… My bangs covered my eyes… That's what am I also, right? Disgusting.

"We're not done yet," the bitch said.

"Let me go, and I'm done with you already, _bitch,_" I said icily.

"But… Natsume-kun… you said you love me! I gave you ALL! Even MYSELF…" she said. Eugh.

"For your information, _bitch, _I just gave you the _thing _that you wanted," I said. It's true, though. "_Besides, _ you're _NOT _even a virgin, in the first place."

"THEN, why…" she's crying now. Duh! As if that'll do the trick.

I smirked. "I only _played with bitches._"

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_What have I done?_

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

She looked at me. Heh? She's smirking now.

"Then…" she started. "You shouldn't go after her… after all…" she paused. Anger build inside me. "She's a bitch."

I grabbed her… in the neck. Yes, I, THE Natsume Hyuuga, am going TO KILL THIS BITCH!

"Watch your mouth, slut. MIKAN. IS. NOT. A. BITCH. TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID!" This is the first time that I showed emotion…in front of other people. The first time that my anger snapped ever since Ruka, the only person in my side after Aoi died, left me.

"NO!" the bitch said. "Why would I? You played with bitches, right, Natsume-kun? But… you cheated. You cheated on her! Doesn't that mean that she's a bitch?" She smirks as my eyes widened. "Doesn't _cheating_ means_ playing_?"

_You're wrong… you're wrong. I'm just… I'm just…_

"You're wrong. I'm just…" I said. I don't know, what words should I say next? I can't continue what am I saying.

"Hmm? What is it, Natsume dear?" she paused. "You're bored. Heh? Was that even a _reasonable reason _to _cheat _to _someone you love?_" She said.

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I had a purpose in life._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

"Shut up."

"Why, Natsume? Cat got your tongue?"

"Shut up."

"I wonder though… well, since she's _always _in your _side_, maybe she'll be stupid enough _to came back to you, _right? What a _stupd bitch."_

"Shut up!" I pushed her towards the floor. "MIKAN IS NOT A BITCH! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'LL DO WHATEVER I NEED TO DO JUST TO REGAIN HER TRUST! I LOVE HER!"

"Tch. Love? Natsume? Is that the right thing to do to the one you love? _To cheat? _What will you say to her when you follow her?"

"Shut up!"

"I can't believe it, Hyuuga. You're an idiot," She stood up and left.

WTF? Personality changed? One second, she's drooling over me, and now, she said, I'm an idiot?

Tch. No time to think about that bitch. I need to follow Mikan.

Now, I'm in front of her house. I rang the doorbell. The maids welcomed me. I asked them where's Mikan. They said in her room.

I opened the door of her room. There… I found her…

…crying.

I can't believe this. I'm the one who made her like this. Maybe… Just maybe… She'll let me explain. I wish… I wish… She'll listen to me. "Mikan, I can explain…" I started. She said nothing. "Mikan…"

That's when her temper snapped.

"Explain? Explain what, Natsume? What are you going to tell me this time, bastard? LIES? Just like these TWO whole months? I may be naïve, dense, childish and clumsy, but I know that you're hiding something. AND now, I found out. WOW! Whopie dee doo, Natsume. Let's cheer! Hurray!" she said with sarcasm in her voice, tears flowing. She's hurt… because of me. _I'm sorry._

_But "I'm sorry" can't do anything…_

"ARGH!" She shouted and started messing her room. She didn't notice a broken vase beside her. And then, her hands are already bleeding.

"Mikan!" I exclaimed. I grabbed the first thing I can… Tissues… and ran to her side to wipe the blood.

She retreated her hand from my touch. "Mikan…"

"Don't. Just leave me alone."

"But…"

"I'm wounded Natsume. Wanna know where? Here," She pointed to her chest, the part where the heart is. "I'm so hurt that I don't even feel my hands bleeding. And guess what, Natsume? Let me tell you. It can't be healed by a TISSUE."

_I'm so sorry. What have I done to her? Why? _I asked myself and I can't even find my own answers. I looked down and she ran.

I followed her, without her knowing. She went to Imai-san's clinic. I'm sure she'll have her wound checked and she drove to the park.

She walked towards a tree. _That's right. The place where it all started._

And now… I'm here… watching her cry. I can't do anything now, right? I'm disgusting. She didn't do anything wrong to me… and then… I… I… I… made her like this.

Does this mean that this is the end for the two of us?

I wish… this is NOT. I don't wanna lose her.. but…

I saw her stood up and walk to her car. She did something, which I think is she wrote, on something and put it in the grass. Hmm.

I'll just make sure that she'll got home safe.

I went back to my house and laid down on my bed. _What should I do?_

While thinking about everything, I didn't feel that slowly, I drifted into my dream land.

* * *

I opened my eyes and sat up straight. _Hmmm, I guess I fell asleep. _I'll go to Mikan now, to explain… yes, I'll try to explain again.

I readied myself and drove towards her house, only to learn that she already left. She left to the other country. _Mikan…_

Without knowing where to go, I drove away. Suddenly, I found myself in front of _our _Sakura tree.

How did I end up here? I didn't even know. I don't even care. Everything seems nothing for me now.

I caught a glance on a piece of tissue under the tree. It was in between of two rocks, no wonder of why it wasn't go with the wind.

I got the tissue and found a message…for me.

_Natsume…sayonara. – Polka_

Then the wind blew…

I heard a voice in the wind… a voice that I knew very well.

_Until we meet again… I will never ever forget you._

Unconciously, before I knew it… I am already crying. With bangs, covering my eyes… with tears silently flowing on my cheeks… I said the name of my only love…

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I had a purpose in life. That purpose had been right beside me, all along. I just never noticed. I was able to live on because of her. Her smiles are already enough for me to live on. I was happy. I was such an idiot. To only notice that now… she meant so much to me. And now that I have lost her, has my life ended too? My days have been filled with happpiness that I didn't realize existed. Those days are gone. I don't have anything by my side anymore._

***o~o~o~o~o~o***_  
_

**_Mikan…_**

* * *

The guy, who's taking a nap, on the branch of the tree, opened his eyes, revealing the most beautiful crimson eyes. Yes, he is Natsume Hyuuga and he's currently in _their_ Sakura tree.

_That dream again? _He thought and sighed.

"It's already been a year, huh?" he murmured.

It's already been a year since Mikan left, a year since that unfortunate day happened.

He jumped down and sat. Suddenly, a car passed the park. And sh caught a glimpse on the girl inside the car… With her auburn hair and hazel eyes? He can't be wrong.

_MIKAN!_

Slowly, a smile formed in his lips. FINALLY! SHE'S BACK!

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

_I… My purpose came back… And this… I'll make sure of it…_

_**I will never let her go again.**_

***o~o~o~o~o~o***

* * *

**- End –**

* * *

**Michan's note:**

Hehe. Minna, I'm FINALLY back~ Yey~

;)

So, how's this one? Did this alternate story of 'Tissues' answered your questions? Hoho~ I wish that it did. Though, I know that a new question is inside your mind right now: Why did Luna became like that? ;) hahaha. Nevermind her. (mind: BUT I WANNA WRITE THE REASON!) Sigh. And now, I though about it, I wish I just made "Tissues" a multi-chaptered story. Oh well. Haha.

And, about the story 'Perfect Girl', gomen ne (sorry) for not updating it for so long. Actually, now… I'm kinda… uhh, scared (? – unsure of the word) to update because, I think, you're already aware of my situation. Haha. I'm being unreasonable again. Oh well. XD

Sorry for the grammatical errors and the other errors. ;) I still haven't proofreaded this yet. ;)

Please leave a **review** ne. ;) Oh.

The _italicized _sentences _is in Natsume's mind._

But the sentences aligned in **center **is in Natsume's… uhmm. Let's say… HEART. ;)

Last but not the least... Thank you for those who reviewed in my story "Tissues"..

**Msdgirl, CrimsonCutie13, Honki no Shika, Kylee-Cat, Gothic-Neko-Writer, xfayex bbzx, anim3gurl, Xxdarkness-angelxX, chrisca123456789, random anime girl, tooo lazy to log in, PaTchoRa, angelprincessinlove94, Kuroichibineko, kuri L.b, princessmelody147, diamonpetals18, KashinoXIchigo4ever, supertimmy08, Schaenna, alice-chan89, CrimsonHazelEyes**

...arigato, ne. ;)

(Natsume's definitely an OOC here and he's superduper UNREASONABLE here... Gomen ne.)

Jaa ne. Until next time~

Muahh!

* * *

_You will never know the importance of a thing unless it's gone._

* * *

_**michan27**_

_**April 01, 2011 – 01:15am (Philippines' time) - published**_

_**April 02, 2011 - 03:07pm (Philippines' time) - reposted**_


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